


Waiting

by aaliyahhigurashireborn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Butterflies, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Force Ghost Ben Solo, Plans For The Future, Post-TRoS, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey Skywalker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:35:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23932405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaliyahhigurashireborn/pseuds/aaliyahhigurashireborn
Summary: Just as before, Rey finds herself on a desert planet grieving the loss of the family she was just getting to know.  Only this time, her heart is broken because she is missing a part of herself, half of a dyad, Ben Solo.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Ben finds himself in the modern world with a Rey doesn't know who he is.  Is this a second chance at life and love, or will it slip through their fingers for a second time?
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

Desert heat baked skin regardless of which planet hosted the environment. This was a universal truth. Rey could also blame the sunburn blooming across her skin on being away from the desert for a few months. She felt the scraping burn in her chest like an unfamiliar guest, sweeping its way through unwanted. The past few months of her Resistance experience had taken place within lush environments with plenty of water and greenery to go around, and this was so far from where she had been. So it only felt fair now that her battle had been finished to return to the site where this whole circle had started.

Tatooine was the place that little Anakin Skywalker had been raised until the Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn found and bought him from slavery. Tatooine was also the old homestead of Luke Skywalker, meaning that this planet was the very place that the legend of the Skywalkers needed to be put to rest. As Rey had buried the sabers of Leia and Anakin, she felt a divided sense of peace and pain. Had Palpatine not killed Ben, perhaps she wouldn’t have had to do this errand alone. All that was left was more debris and her empty heart.

Not to say that Finn and Poe hadn’t done their best to support her as her friends, but it just wasn’t what she needed. They had packed away Leia’s belongings, including her signature rings, in a clear box and offered them to Rey. “She was your teacher, you should have them since…” No one finished the statement and Rey felt her heart break all over again.

“Ben should be here to take them,” she murmured, but took the box anyway. It had traveled beside her in the Falcon, always nearby for support. When Rey had moved into the old Lars homestead, she had brought the box in as well as a few other odds and ends. A few ration packs, a canteen to carry water with her, and a ripped black sweater. Rey slept through the cold nights with the sweater draped over her for warmth, and Ben’s scent was slowly fading. The first morning she noticed, she had cried until her chest and stomach ached. There was nothing to be done about it; just like his body had faded, all that was Ben Solo would disappear from this world. All that kept him alive was in her memory and faded remains of the First Order.

BB-8 had asked her why they remained on Tatooine, but Rey never had an acceptable answer. “It just feels like the thing to do right now,” she would always say before continuing on with whatever task had captured her attention. One month into this self-imposed quarantine, BeeBee finally made mention of going back to the Resistance to help rebuild this new society. “Not yet,” Rey snapped, bringing the discussion to an end.

She knew the smart thing would be to move on and rejoin her friends in this New Republic, but her heart hadn’t reached closure yet. So she chose to spend her days repairing the extensive damage done to the moisturizing farm and waited for something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. 

The desert sky displayed a beautiful constellation of stars as Rey laid on the sand, just staring into space. BeeBee had shut down for the night and Rey couldn’t sleep. The chill of the night had crept in, so Rey donned the holey shirt that was the last remnant of Ben. Not a thing crept across the sand, the air moving patiently as though it had nothing else to do. The air changed and she felt a charged current flow across her skin, and it felt as though the air had been sucked from the atmosphere. She raised from the ground quickly, feeling her feet sleep across the grains of sand and jerked her head around. She recognized the feeling.

_“Rey…”_

Where was he? 

“Ben?” Rey scanned the horizon, finding nothing. Perhaps she was slipping into a new stage of grief. Just as she was giving up hope, that same electrical charge traveled across the back of her neck. 

_“My tunic. Oh Rey.”_ The air was silent and still. _“Why are you waiting for me?”_ No one was visible, but she couldn’t create this sensation with just her imagination. Could she?

“Please Ben, show yourself.” The tears pooled at the corners of her eyes, threatening to break through the dam that she had made in her chest. The world stilled and she saw a glittering of translucent blue butterflies come from seemingly nowhere. They floated in the gentle wind and landed on her shoulder, shining in the moonlight. A shiver ran through Rey and she felt the tears stream down her face. “Why did you leave me?”

_“I never left. I told you, you’ll never be alone.”_ One of the butterflies rose and touched her forehead, almost as though Ben was trying to send her a message.

“It’s not the same. You’re not here, and Leia’s gone. I can’t go back, I don’t belong…”

_“Don’t you dare say you don’t deserve to be happy.”_ The words came through with such power that she could almost imagine him standing in front of her, eyebrows knitted in frustration. Almost as though she dreamed him to life, the butterflies disappeared in a blink and she saw Ben standing in front of her, surrounded by a blue light. _“Oh Rey, what have you done to yourself?”_ Rey rushed over to him, fingertips meeting solid flesh. It was like he was truly standing on Tatooine with her. His palm met her cheek in a delicate caress, and his face reflected the sadness she felt in her soul. _“You don’t belong here, isolated from the people that care about you.”_

“I don’t want to be with them. Not without you.” She rejected the need to close her eyes for fear that he would disappear as quickly as he came. 

_“I will always be with you, so long as you want me. I’ve watched you hide away on a planet that has no further need for you, and it’s time to go back.”_ Ben took Rey into his arms and cradled her close. _“You took my family name.”_ She could hear the smile in his voice.

“It was only fitting seeing as you gave your life for me.”

_“I wish I could’ve given it to you in another way.”_ Rey felt her stomach drop through to her feet. There was so much left unfinished. _“Maybe in another life. If I have another chance, I’ll find you and finish what we started.”_

“I’m holding you to that.” Rey looked up and saw all of the regret and love in Ben’s eyes, and she closed her own as he bent down to place a delicate kiss on her brow.

_“Go back, Rey. I’ll find you, but you have to keep living for now.”_ He was starting to fade, his blue outline fading into the night wind.

“I love you.” The words came out before she could stop them. Ben smiled as sweetly as he had in his last moments.

_“I love you, Rey Skywalker.”_ Rey found her arms empty again, but her heart felt as though it was mending. She had her directive, and it couldn’t be spent waiting. Ben wasn’t going to be found on his family’s home planet, or any physical place. He was in her heart until they met once more. Rey walked back inside and started to pack her belongings once more. It was time to return to her friends.


	2. New

Laundry, check. Food put away, check. Dishes… ugh. _‘You would think that four children couldn’t make this much of a mess,’_ Rey thought to herself. But the task remained whether she complained or not. She jammed her earphones in and got to work on the pile of dirty dishes in the sink, scrubbing them in time to the beat of her music. The dish drainer filled quickly with small bowls, cups, silverware and plastic medicine syringes. The day’s work was never over when caring for orphaned youths, and although the household tried to take care of each other, there were certain duties that were Rey’s alone. After all, there was no logical reason for her to stay within the home if she wasn’t doing something worthwhile. Maz had named her the head of household when she reached the age of seventeen, and it had been quite the experience. 

As she reflected on her life thus far, two tiny hands wrapped around her calf. Rey looked down and found blue eyes staring up at her, a pacifier wiggling in the girl’s mouth. “Bebe, you’re supposed to be in bed. Off you go now.” The little strawberry blonde toddler didn’t move an inch, so Rey bent down and picked her up. The little girl wrapped her arms around Rey’s neck and latched on, hugging with a sweet innocence that could only come from a child. Rey carried her toward her own bedroom, separate from the rest of the inhabitants, and placed Bebe on the soft cotton sheets. The little girl’s eyes started to grow heavy, and Rey watched as Bebe fell asleep. 

What the world must feel like to a trusting child, one that hasn’t quite been stained by the unkindness of the world. Rey hadn’t know that type of ease since she had been around five years old, when her parents suddenly went missing. She had gone walking down the street from home and a gentleman picked her up off the side of the road. He was concerned about her and once it was evident she had no one to care for her, he had taken her to the police station. He had meant well. But that led into her being removed from the only home she had known, and once Maz had gotten word of her story from the news, she had come to take care of Rey. The police were immediately suspicious, but Maz calmed them by stating that if the child was to go into foster care, wouldn’t it be easier to send her with someone who could be trusted and had no children? It hadn’t made much sense in the beginning, until Rey found out that Maz had quite a bit of influence in the community and could be cleared to care for a child quickly, and without all the fuss and paperwork.

Maz was older now, but she had done her best to care for Rey. The other children had come along as Rey grew, and she knew they had become a ragtag type of family, but at least she wasn’t lonely. The most recent addition, Bebe, had been picked up when her parents went missing just the same as Rey’s. Perhaps that’s why the bond between Rey and Bebe was so strong. The toddler’s breath slowed into a deep slumber and Rey slowly pulled herself from the bed, needing to walk off her thoughts before sleep. Her dreams were plagued with dreams and nightmares alike, all ending with a man speaking the same statement night after night. _“I’ll come back for you sweetheart, I promise.”_ At this point in her life, Rey didn’t know if that was a wish or a true memory. She walked down the stairs to the front door, flipping the lock with a practiced quiet movement, and went out to the porch to watch the stars slowly march by. 

* * *

Falling on one’s back was never a fun prospect, especially when a person comes into contact with solid ground. Ben felt the breath being knocked from his chest as he blinked furiously, trying to make sense of what had just happened. He remembered seeing Rey on Tatooine and disappearing from there, then nothing. All of a sudden it seemed that he had fallen through darkness and ended up… well, he wasn’t quite sure where he was. A wide open sky dotted with an endless number of stars stared down at him and he found himself surrounded by tall stalks of itchy, green vegetation. 

A couple of deep breaths later, Ben pulled himself up and took in his environment. Beads of yellow peaked through the tops of the green stalks for what seemed like miles, and far away stood an aged white two-story house. He pushed his way through the greenery and walked until the garden ended and he reached the house. Lights shone from inside the home, but all was silent. His boots crunched against the gravel road leading to a wooden attachment surrounding the house, and he noticed that someone was sitting in the dark, looking up at the stars just as he had. Afraid to spook whoever it was and end up at the business end of a blaster, he simply cleared his throat. The person jumped to their feet and gasped.

“Who’s there,” called out a young woman’s voice. He knew that voice, had just left it moments ago. Her footsteps clattered across the wood and she stared him down from the gravel road. “What are you doing here?” Shrewd hazel eyes met his own stare and he couldn’t bring himself to move. 


End file.
